Intentions

I have a theory about New Year's Day. I think the way I enter a year shapes what follows. It is just another day, usually one that arrives after a late night, and yet... its very newness makes it delicate. The day, the year seems to open like a butterfly drying its just hatched wings. How could the first day not set the tone for the year that follows?

Last year, I welcomed the new year by walking over to my work, which handily (or not) happens to be in my backyard. The parking lot was full; my colleagues, elementary school teachers, were working in their classrooms. Yes, it was a day off, a national holiday, and yet there they were - making bulletin boards and grading papers.

I brought mimosas. Nothing says "Happy New Year!" like sharing cold prosecco and orange juice at work, right? It would have been more festive had anyone actually taken me up on my cheery beverages. Alas, everyone declined because they were too busy working.

And that, in a nutshell, sums up my year.

This year, I went to the ocean. It was a match of joy struck in my heart when I say the waves nudged against the horizon. I was so excited I gamboled around my friend, running in circles, dashing off to the waves and then skipping back again. She drily noted that the newly arrived golden retrievers on the beach were doing the same thing.

We walked and talked. I danced back from waves, tromped along seagull prints, and found a stone that looks like sunshine. I filled my head with sand and salt air and light.

Usually, the long drive to my new home, a verdant valley, is full of melancholy. It is ... hard... to leave behind friends, the ocean, history, family, even when there is so much to love in my adopted home.

This day?

It was lit with possibilities, with contentment, with ease. I may not know what will come in this year. Truthfully, this year I can't even pretend to know what will come. I do know there will be friends, and the ocean, and happiness. It's a small start, but it's just enough for now.

PS: Should you happen to be driving to the ocean in a contemplative mood, I highly recommend playing "The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack" by Liars. (With thanks to Kelly for putting them first on her Best of 2011 mix.)